Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Let the Discussions Begin

I am SUPER excited that my best friend and her husband are flying in for our engagement party! I know I can't expect this kind of stuff all the time, but I can still be really excited when it happens :) It makes me feel super-special and even more excited about the party! I'm so touched!

I mentioned in my last post that my family discussed the wedding quite a bit last weekend. It was interesting that some of the things that one of us was taking for granted wasn't so obvious to every one else. One good example was that I wanted to take pictures after the wedding. I think this is probably the Western influence in me, but I figured if I spend more than an hour getting ready, I should have some frame-worthy portrait type shots. We're also not doing engagement pictures or anything. On the other hand, my dad was even surprised I'd need to change clothes between the wedding and reception! This makes sense, because in India there's traditionally only one outfit and the wedding and reception kind of blend into one another. This also led to a decision of whether to do the wedding and reception right after one another or to give guests a break to change, then come back. I can't recall an Indian wedding in the US that didn't give people a break, but, again, it's not traditionally how it's done in the Motherland.

Another good example was the gift discussion. I remembered that my mom had mentioned in the past that she didn't like gift registries, so I asked what she thought we should do. My parents both replied that they didn't think we should get gifts. Not "no boxed gifts," but no gifts altogether. I was really surprised as I'd never heard of that at any wedding. My mom thought that if we didn't ask for gifts, only really close people would bring something and it would be from the heart. I disagreed and thought if we didn't say anything people would either bring whatever they wanted or cash. I really want to avoid waste and thought if people brought whatever they wanted, it would lead to duplicate items or things we wouldn't/couldn't use. Then you feel bad getting rid of it because it's a wedding gift, but you now have 10 gravy boats and no coffee maker or whatever. So the "no gifts" idea didn't seem practical. None of us liked the "no boxed gifts" option where people only bring cash, though it is getting more and more popular and is definitely the most practical. (No judgment, but asking for cash just seems a bit cold to me.) I figured we do need items to set up a "home" and it would be nice to look around and remember the loved ones who gave them to you. My mom's point was that, if you do a registry, who cares who paid for it, you picked it out! LOL Fun discussions!

Colors have also made for interesting discussion. I had wanted to use mustard and deep purple as my reception colors because they were Indiany, but totally different. But, apparently, purple is considered inauspicious, so that's out. I just didn't want to use the standard red and gold that's used at most Indian weddings. Unfortunately, my mom is pulling the auspicious card, and thinks the reception should be red and yellow. LOL I also made a great (electronic) save the date that was an artsy black & white photo of an Indian bride with red script on it. I absolutely loved it and sent it to my family. I was so excited to hear what they'd have to say about how cool it was! The first comment back? It'd be better if it was colorful.

Actually I was kind of sad about the last one. I'm finding the things I've been most interested in are the venue and the electronic stuff. The latter means the Save the Date, the website, and the slideshow so far. I know my brother will do an awesome job with the slideshow, but I'm afraid the Save the Date will end up being pretty typical and the website will be too formal. But we'll see. And the venue really is awesome! I ended up having to scrap the first website I created, because they (firstphera.com) put a massive banner at the bottom when other people look at it, which was annoying. I've decided to go with weddingwire.com instead. Though it's not as Indian looking, they do online RSVPs for free and have flash intros and lots of cool free aps. We'll see if I end up changing it again. I've gone through MANY options.

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