And We're Back!

So I was informed last weekend that there are some anxious readers out there who were actually waiting for another post. I had kind of assumed no one read this and didn't feel bad not posting after I returned from India. But I'm not one to let a captive audience down! So I'm back :)

The India trip was brutal, but productive. We did nothing but shop every day for 2 weeks in the heat and crowds, using only the subway to get around. But we got everything on our list and brought back SEVEN suitcases. No, that's not a typo. We paid for overweight and an extra bag, plus we both had heavy carry-ons.

Things have been getting steadily busier since I returned from India. I went to San Francisco and Austin over the long weekends, we had our engagement pictures, and we moved all of our stuff into a new apartment (Maneesh himself can't officially move in until after the wedding). Moving is especially painful, especially when consolidating stuff and having to sell old furniture. Luckily the new place is absolutely amazing. We have this view that I still cannot believe. It's nice to live in a nice place for once. I've always sought out places with character in NY, which basically equates to old, but this place is so luxurious and comfortable. Definitely a step up!

I've also been going to DC every spare weekend, which has been good. We're doing pretty well on being on track for the wedding. We still have a few vendors to solidify. The decorator has been more than flaky, so we don't have a contract with her yet, but my parents think we're close. We don't have a hair & makeup artist for me, but we do for the rest of the family members. We don't have mehendi artists. MJ's family hasn't picked the caterer for their welcome dinner yet. And my mom said last week that her brother convinced her we need a videographer, so we're starting to look for someone now. All the other vendors are good to go, so it's pretty much the details and coordination that's left. Of course, the devil is always in the details...

The entertainment is another big thing that's left. MJ and I are still debating on first dance songs and steps. My dad has no interest in discussing the song for our father/daughter dance, though he still seems to want to do it. Other than my brother, no one in our families seems interested in picking their entrance songs. haha Fun times! My brother is putting together a slideshow for the reception, but we don't have enough pictures. So MJ and I brought back an entire suitcase and a box full of old pictures, and I'm going to start picking some out. He's going to do the same this weekend when he goes home.

Picking engagement photos for our guest book was fun, but picking a wedding band was even more fun. I'm excited about the one we got! It's so sparkly and pretty with or without my engagement ring :)

Stay tuned for the next post, which will regale you with the ups and downs of our wedding invitations...

Officially Engaged!

Last weekend my family drove and flew in for an engagement ceremony at MJ's parents house. It was the official Indian engagement, even though he proposed 4 months ago! 14 of my family members came in for the event. I was so touched! MJ's family had quite a few family friends there as well. They had redone the kitchen cabinets and counters, done some landscaping, and bought a new living room rug. It was a really nice ceremony and everyone had a good time. Lots of food and mingling and everyone looked so nice. MJ even surprised my brother with a birthday ice cream cake! There was even a cute moment where MJ got down on one knee to put my engagement ring on my finger again in front of everyone! Tee hee MJ and I thought it was good practice for the wedding - even though there were only about 30 people there, everyone was staring at us for the whole ceremony and there were probably 10 cameras/video cameras! Luckily I'd gotten my hair blow dried for the first time and tried to be as girly as possible by painting my toes and nails, and generally beautifying. My parents did so much work preparing for the event, so I'm glad it's over and everything went so smoothly.

I think we're going to sign a contract with a DJ this weekend. MJ has talked to the DJs and done all the research and it looks like we're going to go with the first one we ever talked to anyway!

I still never heard back from the decorator after we last met her. I sent her a final list of items we wanted and she never responded, despite multiple follow-ups. We're still hoping to be able to sign with her, but this isn't a good sign :(

My mom and I leave for India next Saturday (5/1). Hopefully the ash in Europe will be cleared up by then, since we're supposed to meet in Amsterdam and do the last leg together. I'm a bit overwhelmed by how much has to be done after we get back. We'll only have 3 months, but we'll need to send invitations, work on our first dance, register, find an apartment and move, take care of the legal marriage, book the honeymoon, and work through all the final details of the wedding day.

I'm still hoping to work a photo booth into the reception or cocktail hour. My brother has photo booth software on his laptop that we all played with when MJ and I were there a few weeks ago. We had such a blast! You can add your own backdrops and effects, so we were having a great time in my parents' living room, pretending to swim or climb the Eiffel Tower! I can just imagine how much fun our guests would have taking pictures of themselves. The hardest thing is to figure out how to make it work logistically. Do we have someone stand near the laptop and push the button for people? Do we strap it to a table of some kind and leave instructions for people? Do we create our own backdrop or use one of theirs? How do we ensure it's not stolen, dropped or has food spilled on it? We'll see if we can pull it together in time :)

Two Down!

I think everyone's been a bit fried from the whirlwind weekends to DC where we meet with vendors like mad people, plan every minute we're awake, and do it all again the next day. So everyone independently suggested we take it a bit easier this weekend. So we didn't make any appointments on Sat afternoon and also decided to go see the cherry blossoms in DC on Sun morning. On Sat afternoon, my dad, my brother, MJ, and his brother went to the park. The men played tennis and I read my Kindle in the sun and talked on the phone. My mom even did some yard work at home. It was very nice and relaxing. And the weather was just gorgeous, so it really felt like spring!

In the biggest news, we signed with the photographer!!! This is only the second vendor we've actually signed with, so it's a pretty big deal. As you can tell from this blog, I've spent a considerable amount of energy on selecting a photographer and I'm very happy with our decision! They're called The Edge and they've done a ton of Indian weddings and also photographed at Rose Hill Manor. I like their style and they're reasonably priced. Their colors are sharp and the finish of the photos is very crisp. They also capture people in the room other than just the bride and groom, as well as artistic touches. So yay!! We've set our engagement photo session on 5/23 in NYC as well.

We met with the decorator we're planning to use as well. I was hoping to sign the contract, but we met her at her storage facility and she wasn't prepared with it. We've also made some changes, so she needs to update her quote. She's Hispanic, but she had SO much Indian stuff! She probably knows more about Indian weddings than I do! She had 9 units at a storage facility, a truck, and 2 vans for moving stuff around. She gets a ton of Indian wedding business and I can see why. Her stuff was very good quality and she knows what she's doing. (At one point her husband was taking out a Ganeshji statue to show us and she stopped him from putting it on the floor, because it was disrespectful!) So hopefully we can sign that contract soon as well.

The next big item on the list is the DJ. The first one we met with is still our best choice, but the rates for the projector and uplights seem to be a bit high, so we're comparing to some others as well. We'd like to get that taken care of before my mom and I leave for India, but we'll see. MJ is leading the DJ search and he's having a hard time getting responses from them.

My dad's been working with caterers, so that's in flight as well. Luckily, MJ and I don't need to have a lot of input there, so it can be done with or without us. This was my last planned trip to DC before we go to India, so we wanted to make sure everything that had to be signed early was taken care of. The other item I'll focus on when I get back is makeup/hair artists. I've been talking to a few and hopefully can meet with some when I get back.

Things are going to be busy though. We also need to register, work on our first dance, and find an apartment pretty soon after I get back. MJ and I had an interesting discussion while we were stuck in traffic yesterday that led me to think moving to Queens may not be such a bad idea. I've been dead set against it, but Long Island City has suddenly become rather appealing. It's cheaper than my neighborhood, much faster and easier to get into Manhattan, and on the water with a park and great views of the City. Quite a few of our friends also moved to Queens recently, so we'd have some friendly faces nearby. MJ made me realize that our social lives are going to be quite different after we get married. We'll be nesting much more and may be spending more time with family than friends. I guess, basically, we'll be building roots. I'm excited about setting up a home together and it'd be nice to have more space to do that in.

Making Major Progress

This may seem fairly obvious, but I think that the wedding planning process starts to prepare a couple for being married. You're forced to talk about serious issues we all tend to shy away from when we're just dating - family, money, life's priorities, etc. That being said, MJ has been amazing the last few weeks. We've had some tough discussions and are still struggling to get used to talking about them. However, he amazes me. He's such a level-headed man who has shown me time and again he's ready to stand next to me as my husband. Now, that sounds super cheesy and a few of you may have even gone "awwwwww," but I assure you we're not a roses and candlelit couple. We're pretty much always goofy and he loves to irritate me constantly. But, isn't life with someone who makes you laugh and can respond to life in a mature manner what it's all about?

I've also been trying to use this wedding planning time to learn more about MJ's family. Of course I know them and have spent a fair amount of time with them, but I want to know more! I want to understand what it's like to be a part of their family. Since I'm going to be joining it in a few months, I want to know how they celebrate holidays, how they fight with each other, what they do on birthdays, etc. It's been interesting and the thought of being a part of a family other than my own is so hard to imagine, let alone prepare for. But I'm trying! :)

In weight loss news, I've lost 9 lbs and allowed myself a cheat day. In that one day, where I did not go overboard, I gained back 2. Grr! I hate my metabolism. And my busted knee for not allowing me to work out!!

Unfortunately for wedding planning, I've been slammed at work. One of my co-managers had to take a leave of absence in Brazil for personal reasons and, instead of replacing him, I took on his projects. So, instead of leading 2 projects, I'm leading 5 with 2 teams I haven't worked with before. That hasn't been great for the time I can spend on wedding researching, talking to vendors, and overall planning. Luckily, I can still continue to look at photographers and makeup artists in the evenings. More on that in the future.

So, MJ and I left in a whirlwind after work on Friday and drove to DC for a weekend of wedding preparations with my parents and brother. We were all up until 2 am discussing some items. It was good to have my dad able to talk directly to MJ. Otherwise, I'm usually the go-between when they have questions and I'm sure some things get lost in translation. We discussed the engagement ceremony, decorator approach, and the event schedule.

On Sat afternoon, we were supposed to sign the contract with the decorator we met with last time I went to DC. But one of the caterers recommended another one to my dad this week who was supposed to be the cheapest in the local industry. So we booked appointments with both decorators in the same day, figuring we'd know better what we wanted to do after we met with the new one.

Our schedule on Saturday was jam-packed! I started the morning with a work call at 8:30, then we met with the new decorator at 9. She came to the house and showed us her previous designs. She was a very quiet Hispanic lady, but she had done many Indian weddings and had even worked at our venue multiple times. Our general impressions were that she could definitely do the work, but we would have to come up with the ideas ourselves. She wasn't as much of a designer as a doer, but that may not be such a bad thing, since my mom has so many ideas and the venue is already very beautiful and doesn't need much to make it beautiful. The best part was that she was almost half the price of the other decorator and was giving us more (a welcome arch, crystal strings on the centerpieces, etc.). So we decided to cancel the contract signing with the first decorator to give us time to think through the decision.

After rushing her out at 10, we rushed to meet with a DJ at 10:30. He had some great ideas and was very professional, but was expensive than we expected. He got us more excited about the lighting as well. He's a friend of a friend, so he said he plans to give us a considerable discount, but we don't know how much yet.

We then rushed from there to meet MJ's brother and the owner at a restaurant for potential catering options. The food was absolutely amazing and the presentation was also really great. The owner also had some dishes specially made for us and didn't even charge us for everything we ordered.

Then we were off to the venue. I was so excited that MJ was finally going to see it!!! It was even better that MJ's brother would be there as well. In fact, I'd only seen it once and it was on a terrible rainy day, so I was pretty excited too. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we went straight to the back to look at the patio and pool area. We spent almost 2 hours going over the details of the entire day, in the back, inside, and in the front. We got some more ideas for decorations and for the flow of the guests. The owner of the venue was also there and he had some great ideas and was so helpful. He created a suggested floor plan for us and our vendors to use as well. MJ and his brother loved the venue and MJ said seeing it was the highlight of the trip. I forgot how beautiful the space is...

After the venue, we went to see the hotel (Hampton Inn) closest to the venue for MJ's family to potentially use for their guests. But, after seeing it and talking to them again about their rates, we weren't as convinced it made sense. Then we went to the hotel (Hyatt Place) in Sterling, VA that my family was planning to use for our guests. The rooms and lobby are much nicer, but the rate is half of what we were getting at the Hampton Inn! So we decided to explore sharing the hotel across both families. MJ is going to ask his parents about it when they get back from India and my dad is going to negotiate with the hotel accordingly. There are a few things we need to include if we share the hotel, like a meeting room for MJ's family and extra shuttles that we wouldn't if it was just our side.

After the hotels, we picked up groceries and went home around 5. Soon after, my family came over for dinner. Some of them hadn't met MJ before, so it was a bit of an occasion. But it went well and everyone had fun. Unfortunately, we were all exhausted and everyone left around 11. I think we all slept like rocks that night!!

So we made a lot of progress this weekend. This morning we took it a bit easy. My parents, MJ, and me took a walk in the sun to a nearby lake and just chatted. It was nice seeing MJ interact with my family all weekend. This was the first time we'd been there since we got engaged and it felt nice to see everyone together. It helped to envision us all as one family :)

Starting to See the Vision

As I said, I finally started feeling better on Wednesday. I still worked from home and didn't do anything in the evening, but returned to work on Thursday. And, man, was there a lot waiting for me! It was a very busy day and I really wasn't feeling 100% yet. Then we had a going away dinner for my co-worker and I met some friends at a book-signing afterwards. I didn't get home until 12:30 and was exhausted! I was still feeling overwhelmed on Friday, had a networking event after work, dinner with MJ, then met another co-worker and his fiance for drinks. AND I had a 7:30 train to DC on Sat morning for a packed weekend of wedding planning! Not much time to catch my breath.

I hadn't been doing much wedding stuff recently, due to the co-op purchasing activities, but my family has continued with full steam. So this weekend we met decorators went to an Indian bridal tasting event. We found a decorator we really like and are working to agree upon the contract now. Hearing her ideas and her description of how the day would look started to make it seem real. I started to finally get excited about the day because I can't wait to see it. Right now it's all words and pictures, but it'll be awesome to see everything come together!

The decorating company advertises themselves as a mother-daughter team. The mother started the company 26 yrs ago and specializes in flowers, while the daughter is 30 and has taken over the decorating. It's interesting interacting with an ABCD in the wedding industry. I've heard that it's becoming more common, which makes sense, since the local wedding markets are full of brides who are also ABCDs. It's somewhat comforting talking to someone who understands the traditions, but has the same aesthetic. (She was SOOO much better than the other decorator, who just sat there waiting for me to tell her exactly what I want. I also suspect most of her images were stolen, especially since she kept alluding to the fact that all decorators did the same thing.)

The other big thing this week was that I sent the Save the Date out! We've gotten great feedback and I think MJ is probably going to use the same one for his side as well. I'm really happy with how it turned out!

I've also been spending a lot of time and energy looking for photographers. We realized our budget was too low for photographers, so we've increased it, but it's still hard to find someone. I've heard from quite a few people that you should find photographers based on recommendations, but we don't know that many people in the area. I'm planning on spending most of Saturday talking with different photographers that I've already been communicating with over email and whose websites I've combed thoroughly. I guess you can only tell so much over a website though. One of my requirements is that they've done at least one wedding with Indians, so that they have an idea of our traditions and what's important to us. But I still really like the artsy, photojournalist look. Unfortunately, so does everyone else, so it's pretty expensive. ;)

My weight loss endeavors have been less than fruitful. I'm still at -7 lbs, which is nothing. I'm having a lot of issues with going to the gym due to my knee. MJ got me a yoga ball at home, which has helped, but it's not enough. The ironic thing is that this week both my dad and a co-worker commented that I look like I've lost weight! Another contributing factor to my inability to go to the gym is that I was having issues sleeping last week, as I was having quite a few nightmares. However, I talked them out with MJ, did some research on why I may be having them, and things seem to have calmed down. In fact, lately I've been having good dreams about engagement portraits and getting together with family!

One sad thing is that, the day before we were to sign the contract for the co-op we liked, we decided to retract our offer. My dad and Maneesh convinced me that it's not the right buy. We found out on Friday that we effectively couldn't rent it out, which basically means we'd have to sell if we wanted to move. And we may lose money if we want to sell in less than 7-10 years, given the market and economy (my dad printed out some scary articles to drive his point home), but the place is probably too small to be there for that long. Especially with the possibility of kids at some point in the next few years. Also, we haven't lived together yet, so we don't really know what we need from a space yet. So, basically, it was the right thing to do. But it makes me sad because I was really really really looking forward to building a home with my husband. MJ and I talked about it yesterday and he's assured me we'll get a nice apartment and we'll still make it a home for us. So I definitely feel a bit better.
 
Btw, I was totally wrong about Committed. It's not that great and kind of freaks me out with all the statistics about why marriage is so awful :(