Bon Voyage!

Well I'm off to India tomorrow. This last week has been extremely stressful and busy, but I'm making good progress on my to do list. It's going to be a busy, hot trip and I can't say I'm looking forward to 2 weeks of shopping.

We also booked the hotel for Maui for the honeymoon! It looks beautiful and I was able to get 6 nights on points, so we only have to pay for 2 nights there and the Big Island hotel. I'm getting the flights on miles when I get back from India too. So exciting!

My dad has the final contracts for the hotels. And now it's time for us to do invitations and get all the clothes, jewelry, favors, etc.! Wish me luck :)

Honeymoon Hullabaloo

The big discussion this past weekend was about the honeymoon. Destination, dates, how we'll get there, where to spend money, what to do, etc. I have to admit that I had one of my least attractive moments in our relationship during one of these conversations. In my defense, I'm completely obsessed with travel and basically live for the next trip. And it just felt like what I wanted wasn't mattering to anyone and the honeymoon was the one thing I could be a spoiled brat about. So I was...

First, we started looking into destinations and it became clear that none of the places I'd suggested made sense from a weather perspective. They were either going to be too wet or too cold for us to really enjoy the beaches or travel around the towns. We're also likely to visit Australia/New Zealand in the future since MJ’s cousin lives in New Zealand. It's also easy to add Thailand/Bali onto a future India trip. So, we went through the list and Hawaii became more and more attractive. I finally caved into MJ and agreed that we would go there. Now, I know it will be amazing and I will eat my words, but it wasn't where I'd always dreamed of going. It's so typical - SOOO many people go there for their honeymoons (and I know you're thinking 'well there must be a reason for that...'). And it's not as exotic or far away. But, MJ is right - we'll get to do it in a way we'll never get to again and it has everything - amazing beaches, mountains, culture, city life, remote islands, romance, views, history, and (most important to him) volcanoes! His face just lights up when he thinks about going to a volcano. I think even if I didn't like Hawaii I'd have the time of my life going with oh-so-super-excited MJ!

On top of the destination discussion, I'd kept saying we'd use my miles to go first class. But, when we searched, we discovered it would take all of my Delta miles plus half my AmEx points. Now, this is exactly what those points are for and MJ never said we should use them, but I became really sad about it. Afterwards I realized I was more upset because I've gotten so spoiled with the constant influx of miles I used to get from years of traveling every week for work that this is a huge blow. It's also hard spending them all in one place when I've basically hoarded them for so long and almost never used them on myself. But, again, a totally bratty response.

As I mentioned before, I'd wanted a 3 week honeymoon, which got cut down to 2 because of the reality of taking time off of work. Luckily, the 2 weeks ended on Labor Day, so I figured we could get in like 16 days. But, as we started looking at flights, we discovered we really couldn't leave until 8/22 evening or 8/23 morning. Then, Maneesh realized he had a really close family friend's wedding this summer that he had to attend. The first wedding is July 4th weekend, which is a big family weekend (of my family) and he'd feel bad missing it. The other wedding (they were having two) is on 9/4. So the only option was to come back a few days early from the honeymoon to make it to the wedding. So... instead of 8/22 - 9/6 (which I begrudgingly had accepted), we'd only be there 8/23 - 9/3!! I realize that this is not a huge deal in the long run because it's still a whole 12 days and it will be an unforgettable trip, but I got really upset at the time. I have dreamed about my honeymoon my whole life and wanted it to last forever. I wish reality didn't get in the way!

Now I realize the last few paragraphs don't paint a flattering picture of me. But I'm including them here for two reasons: 1. I want to be honest to you, my dear reader, and that includes about my own faults. and 2. I actually learned from my bratty episode :)

I have spent most of my life taking care of myself. I decide what I want to do, rationalize it to myself, and do what I can to make it happen. Heck, at work, I only have to do the first 2 and then tell other people to do what they can to make it happen! LOL just kidding! So, if I want to go to Hawaii for 3 weeks, I figure out a way to go to Hawaii for 3 weeks. When I wanted to live in Europe for a year, I even found a way to get my company to pay for me to live there and travel back to the US every 2 months. But things are going to be different now. Not that MJ doesn't do every single thing in his power to make me utterly happy, but my decisions are no longer my own, they are "ours." I'm no longer the only person effecting my decisions or what I do. And, likewise, my decisions and brattiness affect someone else. (The fact that my bratty episode about using points made MJ say he didn't want to go to Hawaii any more was just terrible!)

These are probably obvious lessons to many of you, especially those of you who are married, but the actual living of it was new to me. MJ and I have been very happy together and have been very successful in balancing our needs in our relationship. But changing my long-awaited honeymoon plans to accommodate his real life needs and using my carefully harvested points on someone other than my family triggered some instinctual "I don't wanna!" reaction in me. And realizing I didn't have the power to change the things standing in my way was eye-opening. The whole idea of it being "our" decision was so new and different than it was when we were dating. We will no longer have the option of making decisions about where to live, what to do on holidays, when to vacation, how much to spend on a car, etc. independently of one another. All these decisions are now "our's," not "his" or "mine."

So, at the end of the day, we will be spending “our” points to spend 12 days in Hawaii on “our” honeymoon. And I’m honestly really excited and can’t wait to spend it with MJ :)

Where to Go? Everywhere!

As much as I never fantasized about my wedding, I have dreamt about my honeymoon for as long as I can remember. I love to travel and I guess I see a honeymoon as the ultimate vacation. Cost is less of an issue than usual, and people do things they wouldn't normally - swim with the dolphins, stay in a hut on a remote beach, explore a cave with a flashlight, visit a monastery at sunrise, etc. I used to always say I'd take a 3-month honeymoon when I finally got married, go to multiple countries, and just explore. So you can imagine that the honeymoon destination conversation has been a big one with MJ. Unfortunately, reality strikes and 3 months is more likely to be 2 weeks (though I have suggested on occasion that I could continue on the honeymoon without him...this idea was not well received). MJ really wants to go to Hawaii. He gets so excited thinking about exploring a volcano it makes me laugh. I wouldn't mind Hawaii, but it doesn't excite me as much. I was pushing for Australia/New Zealand on the pretense that it's so far that we're unlikely to go again for some time. Plus, his cousin has a beach house in New Zealand he's told us we could use. But it'll likely be winter there when we go, so that's not quite as compelling. I'm also trying to put Thailand, Bali, Morocco, and the Galapagos Islands in the mix. (Let me know if you have other ideas!) MJ also wants to include South America, Greece, and Japan, so I think we've covered almost every continent! It's such a big decision! I wish we could go everywhere! Until we have a confirmed date, it doesn't make sense to try to decide on a honeymoon, but honestly I'm more excited about confirming it! ;)

Speaking of dates... though we don't have a final date, it looks more and more like it'll be either 6/26 or 8/21. Woohoo! To finalize our date options, I had to call a panditji's cell phone yesterday, which was an interesting experience. But we got what we needed and everyone seems comfortable with these options. I'm hoping for 8/21 to give us a little more time to plan and it seems like a better date for a honeymoon and future anniversary trips :) We're still researching invitations as well. My mom wants them printed on both sides (Hindi on one, English on the other), which may limit our options. Some of them are so pretty, I'd really like to see some physically.

The funny thing about being the first in my family to get married is all the unknowns. Luckily I have a few friends who have been helpful and willing to share their information. Both got married in TX, one a year ago and one three years ago. My mom has a few good friends she can ask as well. But it's a touchy subject with some and we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by asking them certain questions. Which makes it hard to find out stuff - like how much are you supposed to spend on flowers? How much jewelry should we buy? What are the challenges with getting invitations printed in India?

The other exciting news is that we setup our engagement party! We were able to confirm the upstairs bar at Pravda for a celebratory drink with some friends the night before the Superbowl. I think MJ and my brothers are going to stay to watch the game together too! We sent out invites using pingg, which I like so much better than evite. So far it sounds like people liked it better as well and quite a few will be able to come. I'm looking forward to it!