Making Major Progress

This may seem fairly obvious, but I think that the wedding planning process starts to prepare a couple for being married. You're forced to talk about serious issues we all tend to shy away from when we're just dating - family, money, life's priorities, etc. That being said, MJ has been amazing the last few weeks. We've had some tough discussions and are still struggling to get used to talking about them. However, he amazes me. He's such a level-headed man who has shown me time and again he's ready to stand next to me as my husband. Now, that sounds super cheesy and a few of you may have even gone "awwwwww," but I assure you we're not a roses and candlelit couple. We're pretty much always goofy and he loves to irritate me constantly. But, isn't life with someone who makes you laugh and can respond to life in a mature manner what it's all about?

I've also been trying to use this wedding planning time to learn more about MJ's family. Of course I know them and have spent a fair amount of time with them, but I want to know more! I want to understand what it's like to be a part of their family. Since I'm going to be joining it in a few months, I want to know how they celebrate holidays, how they fight with each other, what they do on birthdays, etc. It's been interesting and the thought of being a part of a family other than my own is so hard to imagine, let alone prepare for. But I'm trying! :)

In weight loss news, I've lost 9 lbs and allowed myself a cheat day. In that one day, where I did not go overboard, I gained back 2. Grr! I hate my metabolism. And my busted knee for not allowing me to work out!!

Unfortunately for wedding planning, I've been slammed at work. One of my co-managers had to take a leave of absence in Brazil for personal reasons and, instead of replacing him, I took on his projects. So, instead of leading 2 projects, I'm leading 5 with 2 teams I haven't worked with before. That hasn't been great for the time I can spend on wedding researching, talking to vendors, and overall planning. Luckily, I can still continue to look at photographers and makeup artists in the evenings. More on that in the future.

So, MJ and I left in a whirlwind after work on Friday and drove to DC for a weekend of wedding preparations with my parents and brother. We were all up until 2 am discussing some items. It was good to have my dad able to talk directly to MJ. Otherwise, I'm usually the go-between when they have questions and I'm sure some things get lost in translation. We discussed the engagement ceremony, decorator approach, and the event schedule.

On Sat afternoon, we were supposed to sign the contract with the decorator we met with last time I went to DC. But one of the caterers recommended another one to my dad this week who was supposed to be the cheapest in the local industry. So we booked appointments with both decorators in the same day, figuring we'd know better what we wanted to do after we met with the new one.

Our schedule on Saturday was jam-packed! I started the morning with a work call at 8:30, then we met with the new decorator at 9. She came to the house and showed us her previous designs. She was a very quiet Hispanic lady, but she had done many Indian weddings and had even worked at our venue multiple times. Our general impressions were that she could definitely do the work, but we would have to come up with the ideas ourselves. She wasn't as much of a designer as a doer, but that may not be such a bad thing, since my mom has so many ideas and the venue is already very beautiful and doesn't need much to make it beautiful. The best part was that she was almost half the price of the other decorator and was giving us more (a welcome arch, crystal strings on the centerpieces, etc.). So we decided to cancel the contract signing with the first decorator to give us time to think through the decision.

After rushing her out at 10, we rushed to meet with a DJ at 10:30. He had some great ideas and was very professional, but was expensive than we expected. He got us more excited about the lighting as well. He's a friend of a friend, so he said he plans to give us a considerable discount, but we don't know how much yet.

We then rushed from there to meet MJ's brother and the owner at a restaurant for potential catering options. The food was absolutely amazing and the presentation was also really great. The owner also had some dishes specially made for us and didn't even charge us for everything we ordered.

Then we were off to the venue. I was so excited that MJ was finally going to see it!!! It was even better that MJ's brother would be there as well. In fact, I'd only seen it once and it was on a terrible rainy day, so I was pretty excited too. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we went straight to the back to look at the patio and pool area. We spent almost 2 hours going over the details of the entire day, in the back, inside, and in the front. We got some more ideas for decorations and for the flow of the guests. The owner of the venue was also there and he had some great ideas and was so helpful. He created a suggested floor plan for us and our vendors to use as well. MJ and his brother loved the venue and MJ said seeing it was the highlight of the trip. I forgot how beautiful the space is...

After the venue, we went to see the hotel (Hampton Inn) closest to the venue for MJ's family to potentially use for their guests. But, after seeing it and talking to them again about their rates, we weren't as convinced it made sense. Then we went to the hotel (Hyatt Place) in Sterling, VA that my family was planning to use for our guests. The rooms and lobby are much nicer, but the rate is half of what we were getting at the Hampton Inn! So we decided to explore sharing the hotel across both families. MJ is going to ask his parents about it when they get back from India and my dad is going to negotiate with the hotel accordingly. There are a few things we need to include if we share the hotel, like a meeting room for MJ's family and extra shuttles that we wouldn't if it was just our side.

After the hotels, we picked up groceries and went home around 5. Soon after, my family came over for dinner. Some of them hadn't met MJ before, so it was a bit of an occasion. But it went well and everyone had fun. Unfortunately, we were all exhausted and everyone left around 11. I think we all slept like rocks that night!!

So we made a lot of progress this weekend. This morning we took it a bit easy. My parents, MJ, and me took a walk in the sun to a nearby lake and just chatted. It was nice seeing MJ interact with my family all weekend. This was the first time we'd been there since we got engaged and it felt nice to see everyone together. It helped to envision us all as one family :)

Say Cheese!

I spent the whole weekend looking for photographers. I talked to four of them and emailed countless ones. I finally also put together a spreadsheet to track the options with all the factors. I'm really annoyed to find out that the two I really wanted are both from Canada and out of our price league. But we found a few that are close to our range and local, so hopefully something will work out. Everyone says to splurge on the photographer because those are the images that are going to last and to make you remember the day, but they're also so expensive. Ideally I'd want pictures that are artistic but also include family and friends. One option we're considering is getting an artsy engagement session in New York and then a typical Indian photographer in DC. The wedding photos will be more typical and staged, but at least we'll have something to remember the day by and I'll still get some arty shots of MJ and I. Not ideal, but it's definitely an option.

I've also been looking for makeup artists. Prices range so much - between $120 and $2000! It's also pretty hard for me to judge good makeup artists from pictures of people I never saw before they had the makeup on. It's also hard not to let the quality of the photography impact your impressions. My mom also prefers finding someone who does both hair and makeup, which it seems is not as common.

I've been telling my parents I want them to give a little speech at the reception, which my dad's been pretty adamant he didn't want to do. My response last weekend was "at least I'm sparing you a father-daughter dance." To which he responded, "I want to do that." My entire family was so shocked! Apparently he actually wants to do a father-daughter dance. I don't think I've ever danced with my father in my entire life, so I assumed he wouldn't want to do this one. But, lo and behold, he does! I'm extremely touched. The only problem is that I tend to cry at other people's father-daughter dances (even people I don't know), so I may have trouble holding it together during my own! LOL

I mentioned that last weekend my family went to an Indian tasting event. It was interesting, though there were very few vendors there. During the event, my dad started realizing our guest list may be increasing and Rose Hill Manor may not be able to hold us. So afterwards, my parents, brother and I sat down and went through the entire thing again. We realized it would probably work with a few minor adjustments. I was so glad because the other venue, Fox Chase Manor, seemed so much more typical than Rose Hill Manor. It felt like a hotel inside and looked strip mallish outside. There were also no beautiful grounds surrounding it. Phew! Crisis averted!

The guest list is a bit of a double-edged sword. You want everyone to come, but you can't go over a certain limit with the venue and each attendee costs more from a food perspective. It seems like so much of my family will be able to come though, even internationally. It makes it feel real hearing about people attending from India, London, Amsterdam, New Zealand, Australia, etc. I get excited thinking about all these people being there just to celebrate us! I can't wait!

As so much of the family will be coming and our events will start a few days before the event, my dad also suggested we get a hotel closer to my parents' house than the wedding venue. We'll just need to arrange for transportation from the hotel to the venue, which we were planning to do anyway. My brother has found some good options for transportation too. MJ's family will probably still get a hotel near the wedding venue, as that makes the most sense for their guests.

Bachelorette party planning has also started! Fun!

Location, Location, Location

Whew! What a weekend! After being in and out of work since the Tuesday before, I finally returned on Thursday. Then, right after work on Friday, my family came from DC. We haven't seen each other since I got engaged, so we had some major discussions all night about what everyone was thinking for the wedding. MJ's family came over for tea right after lunch on Saturday, where we had some similar (but less intense) discussions together. Both families also brought some sweets and gifts, so the whole thing ended up feeling like an official blessing from the parents. Within 30 mins of his family leaving, my family had changed clothes, cleaned the apartment, packed, and was in the car. We then drove to DC in record time (4 hrs door to door with a stop for gas on the way) and had dinner at home. We left around 9:30 on Sunday morning and were out the entire day looking at venues:

• The Westin
• Sheraton Premiere
• Algonkian
• Meadowlarke
• Cherry Blossom
• Raspberry Plains
• Rose Hill Manor

 

The funny thing is I went to DC for this whirlwind trip to see Foxchase Manor, but after talking to my family and seeing these, we decided it wasn't even worth the drive to see it! We also checked out some hotels close to Raspberry Plains and Rose Hill Manor to get an idea for costs for our guests, transportation options, and possibilities to have a meeting room nearby. My family also rented out two community centers for the wedding weekend, so my dad showed me those as well. So we saw a lot in one day!

 

Alright, so you saw a lot... did you like anything? Drum roll please... 17 days after I got engaged, we've already found a wedding venue! Some of them aren't even worth mentioning, but Meadowlarke is gorgeous but not available any Saturday in the summer and it would be a bit tight for 200 people. I got the feeling my family liked Algonkian, but I thought it was a bit drab and uninspired. Raspberry Plains had gorgeous grounds and views, but the inside of the house was over-decorated and the lady seemed extremely inflexible and hard to work with.

 

We decided to check out Rose Hill Manor due to its proximity to Raspberry Plains, though we had the feeling it was too small for us. And we all absolutely loved it! The grounds and views are also really beautiful, but the house is very open and grand while somehow still feeling intimate. It feels like you're in you're own house, but just way nicer ;) There is also a great courtyard in the back with a pool perfect for floating candles during cocktail hour. It will be a bit tight and we cannot go a single person over 200, but we all loved it! There's a great balcony and we won't need to decorate as much as the walls are yellow and red. The guy was also really great to work with and they've had Indian weddings there before. One of my criteria was to be able to take pictures on the grounds and this will be just gorgeous! We can also have the DJ and dance floor a bit separate from the dining tables to allow people to move around and do what they want to do. There's even an area that's perfectly made for putting in a mandap! Basically, it was the best of all worlds and had everything we wanted. It was also available on the date we wanted and was within (or at least close to) our price range. So we have a contract and my dad's putting in the payment today! Woohoo! (ok, to be fair, we're going to wait to make everything official until MJ looks at it next weekend, but he's guaranteed me he won't say no!) ;)

 

So 18 days into being engaged, we have a location and I'm getting married on August 21! I've started telling a few close friends (and, you, obviously), though I know I should wait until the contract is in. It's just that so many people will have to fly in that I want to make sure they reserve the date well in advance.

 

Ok, and, yes, maybe I'm starting to get a little excited... Seeing the venues and both families together made it all seem a little more real...