Starting to See the Vision

As I said, I finally started feeling better on Wednesday. I still worked from home and didn't do anything in the evening, but returned to work on Thursday. And, man, was there a lot waiting for me! It was a very busy day and I really wasn't feeling 100% yet. Then we had a going away dinner for my co-worker and I met some friends at a book-signing afterwards. I didn't get home until 12:30 and was exhausted! I was still feeling overwhelmed on Friday, had a networking event after work, dinner with MJ, then met another co-worker and his fiance for drinks. AND I had a 7:30 train to DC on Sat morning for a packed weekend of wedding planning! Not much time to catch my breath.

I hadn't been doing much wedding stuff recently, due to the co-op purchasing activities, but my family has continued with full steam. So this weekend we met decorators went to an Indian bridal tasting event. We found a decorator we really like and are working to agree upon the contract now. Hearing her ideas and her description of how the day would look started to make it seem real. I started to finally get excited about the day because I can't wait to see it. Right now it's all words and pictures, but it'll be awesome to see everything come together!

The decorating company advertises themselves as a mother-daughter team. The mother started the company 26 yrs ago and specializes in flowers, while the daughter is 30 and has taken over the decorating. It's interesting interacting with an ABCD in the wedding industry. I've heard that it's becoming more common, which makes sense, since the local wedding markets are full of brides who are also ABCDs. It's somewhat comforting talking to someone who understands the traditions, but has the same aesthetic. (She was SOOO much better than the other decorator, who just sat there waiting for me to tell her exactly what I want. I also suspect most of her images were stolen, especially since she kept alluding to the fact that all decorators did the same thing.)

The other big thing this week was that I sent the Save the Date out! We've gotten great feedback and I think MJ is probably going to use the same one for his side as well. I'm really happy with how it turned out!

I've also been spending a lot of time and energy looking for photographers. We realized our budget was too low for photographers, so we've increased it, but it's still hard to find someone. I've heard from quite a few people that you should find photographers based on recommendations, but we don't know that many people in the area. I'm planning on spending most of Saturday talking with different photographers that I've already been communicating with over email and whose websites I've combed thoroughly. I guess you can only tell so much over a website though. One of my requirements is that they've done at least one wedding with Indians, so that they have an idea of our traditions and what's important to us. But I still really like the artsy, photojournalist look. Unfortunately, so does everyone else, so it's pretty expensive. ;)

My weight loss endeavors have been less than fruitful. I'm still at -7 lbs, which is nothing. I'm having a lot of issues with going to the gym due to my knee. MJ got me a yoga ball at home, which has helped, but it's not enough. The ironic thing is that this week both my dad and a co-worker commented that I look like I've lost weight! Another contributing factor to my inability to go to the gym is that I was having issues sleeping last week, as I was having quite a few nightmares. However, I talked them out with MJ, did some research on why I may be having them, and things seem to have calmed down. In fact, lately I've been having good dreams about engagement portraits and getting together with family!

One sad thing is that, the day before we were to sign the contract for the co-op we liked, we decided to retract our offer. My dad and Maneesh convinced me that it's not the right buy. We found out on Friday that we effectively couldn't rent it out, which basically means we'd have to sell if we wanted to move. And we may lose money if we want to sell in less than 7-10 years, given the market and economy (my dad printed out some scary articles to drive his point home), but the place is probably too small to be there for that long. Especially with the possibility of kids at some point in the next few years. Also, we haven't lived together yet, so we don't really know what we need from a space yet. So, basically, it was the right thing to do. But it makes me sad because I was really really really looking forward to building a home with my husband. MJ and I talked about it yesterday and he's assured me we'll get a nice apartment and we'll still make it a home for us. So I definitely feel a bit better.
 
Btw, I was totally wrong about Committed. It's not that great and kind of freaks me out with all the statistics about why marriage is so awful :(

Feeling Good Again... Finally

Ahhhhhhhhhh I feel like I'm letting out a long-held deep hot breath of negativity and breathing in cool winds of much needed positive energy. I've been sick and bummed and just generally no fun for a while and today I woke up feeling... refreshed, reenergized, happy. Go team! (Imagine me thrusting my fist into the air as I say that, because I literally did just that this morning. Oh yeah!)

I don't know why. Nothing changed. I was so pissed at the medical profession yesterday, and was so exhausted that I had to take a taxi home from work (I finally went in for a half day). But it may have something to the fact I was up and around for the first time in almost a week, and actually talking to humans other than MJ. I even talked to my mom and my best friend about wedding stuff for as long as my aching throat would allow.

Both of them have been looking for styles of wedding outfits for me (so nice!). There are so many, but the websites are really terrible. They don't show enough detail, enough views, or even enough options. It's really overwhelming, especially when you don't have a specific idea in your head. Even just basic things like the color to wear are so confusing. First, the wedding - ok, Indian brides wear red, right? No biggie! Wrong - there are so many shades and you can go pinker or more magenta or more maroon. Oi! And the reception? The options are endless! And the decision drives the colors for the reception and the accents on the groom's clothes. So much to think about! Then you have to think how heavy it should be, how modern, how revealing, how showy. Indian brides in India tend to wear more blingy clothes than Indian brides in America. I suspect I'm more conservative than most as well. But I also HATE shopping, so I wish I just knew what I wanted and we could just get it sewn there. LOL

My mom also told me that my favorite cousin and her entire family are planning to come from India for the wedding! I'd really hoped they would, but my mom told me last week they may not be able to. So it was really nice to hear that she'd be there - it wouldn't feel like my wedding without her. She's really like a sister to me and, as I've noted before, I'm realizing more and more how important my family is in this whole process. I hope everyone can make it!

So, in terms of weight loss, this month has not been as successful as last. I want to lose 5 lbs/month and I lost 6 last month. But, in February, I've only lost .5 so far :( Mainly due to the engagement celebrations, then getting sick. I'm hoping to make it back to the gym on Fri morning. Fingers crossed.
 

My brother also found out that Gmail now allows you to embed images in emails through a feature in Google Labs. So we're all set to send out the Save the Date! It looks great! I'm thinking of sending it this Sunday, as it'll be exactly 6 months before the wedding date. Scary, eh?

Those Who Surround Us

MJ noted that my last post didn't have the same enthusiastic voice my previous ones have had. And I guess that's because I have been pretty down this week. I'm sick again, which is particularly frustrating because I've been eating so healthy and taking vitamins every day. And just as my knee was getting better and I was ready to hit the gym hardcore, I'm out sick again.

And, probably a bigger contributor, I've been saddened by a number of people close to me in the past few weeks. I tend to care too much about people, so it hits me a bit harder than it should. And that's where the last paragraph from my last post originated - I'm realizing these pains will no longer be just mine, but will be MJ's as well. Of course we'll continue to have our own friends, but the people we choose to have in our lives will contribute to a shared environment. We both care greatly for our family and friends and want to continue to cultivate all of these relationships. But, when you're making time for a new marriage, each other's families, and each other's friends in addition to your own family and friends, we'll just have to let go of some things and some people. Which is really sad for me. Like I said, I care too much about people, so seeing them go is not easy. To give you an example, I'm in consulting, so we change projects every few months. It took me years before I didn't get teary-eyed when someone would leave a project. I still get emotional when I, myself leave one, because I just get attached to the people I work with. And these are just co-workers! ;)

On the other hand, some people have really surprised me in a positive way as well. And, again, looking around the room at our engagement party and seeing so many people who have been a part of our relationship and each of our lives celebrating this moment was amazing. It made me realize we will not be in this alone and that we go into this next phase in our lives with good friends and family standing beside us, though they may not be who we always expected to be there. I know it's somewhat cheesy, but it means a lot when we're dealing with the stresses of wedding planning and house-buying on top of the usual daily stresses. Knowing that people are in this with us and are wishing us the best helps to not be overwhelmed. If it felt that way seeing 30 people toasting us, I can't imagine how it will feel seeing 200 people at our wedding!!! Maybe MJ's right - I would regret it one day if we didn't have an actual wedding...

In terms of wedding planning, I've been looking at designs for wedding outfits and for photographers. There is such a wide range for both. They both seem so expensive too. I've seen a few outfits I liked, but mostly think I'd need to try them on to really know how they look. The way they have models sit in these pictures, you can barely see the outfits! The photographers vary so much in style as well. I'm drawn to the more artsy look, but I'm not sure it captures the overall event as well. Also, I suspect less people attending would be captured in these types of photographs, and I would want to remember everyone there. I finally saw a videographer I really liked, but it was insanely expensive for a 30 min film. For those of you who are married, do you ever watch the wedding video? I feel like you can use the pictures to decorate your house or send to family, but what do you do with the video? My family always took a bunch of home videos growing up and we've rarely watched any of them.

As I type this, MJ's at the place we have an offer on with an engineer, getting it inspected! I hope everything comes up clean, especially since it's so old. We're so excited about this place, but trying not to get our hopes up. MJ's been surprised how uninterested I am in the finances of the whole home-buying process. Luckily, he's been doing his research! I hope we get this place. It's supposed to be featured in the New York Times this Sunday, which may throw a wrench in our planning, but would be a cool keepsake if it doesn't!