Say Cheese!

I spent the whole weekend looking for photographers. I talked to four of them and emailed countless ones. I finally also put together a spreadsheet to track the options with all the factors. I'm really annoyed to find out that the two I really wanted are both from Canada and out of our price league. But we found a few that are close to our range and local, so hopefully something will work out. Everyone says to splurge on the photographer because those are the images that are going to last and to make you remember the day, but they're also so expensive. Ideally I'd want pictures that are artistic but also include family and friends. One option we're considering is getting an artsy engagement session in New York and then a typical Indian photographer in DC. The wedding photos will be more typical and staged, but at least we'll have something to remember the day by and I'll still get some arty shots of MJ and I. Not ideal, but it's definitely an option.

I've also been looking for makeup artists. Prices range so much - between $120 and $2000! It's also pretty hard for me to judge good makeup artists from pictures of people I never saw before they had the makeup on. It's also hard not to let the quality of the photography impact your impressions. My mom also prefers finding someone who does both hair and makeup, which it seems is not as common.

I've been telling my parents I want them to give a little speech at the reception, which my dad's been pretty adamant he didn't want to do. My response last weekend was "at least I'm sparing you a father-daughter dance." To which he responded, "I want to do that." My entire family was so shocked! Apparently he actually wants to do a father-daughter dance. I don't think I've ever danced with my father in my entire life, so I assumed he wouldn't want to do this one. But, lo and behold, he does! I'm extremely touched. The only problem is that I tend to cry at other people's father-daughter dances (even people I don't know), so I may have trouble holding it together during my own! LOL

I mentioned that last weekend my family went to an Indian tasting event. It was interesting, though there were very few vendors there. During the event, my dad started realizing our guest list may be increasing and Rose Hill Manor may not be able to hold us. So afterwards, my parents, brother and I sat down and went through the entire thing again. We realized it would probably work with a few minor adjustments. I was so glad because the other venue, Fox Chase Manor, seemed so much more typical than Rose Hill Manor. It felt like a hotel inside and looked strip mallish outside. There were also no beautiful grounds surrounding it. Phew! Crisis averted!

The guest list is a bit of a double-edged sword. You want everyone to come, but you can't go over a certain limit with the venue and each attendee costs more from a food perspective. It seems like so much of my family will be able to come though, even internationally. It makes it feel real hearing about people attending from India, London, Amsterdam, New Zealand, Australia, etc. I get excited thinking about all these people being there just to celebrate us! I can't wait!

As so much of the family will be coming and our events will start a few days before the event, my dad also suggested we get a hotel closer to my parents' house than the wedding venue. We'll just need to arrange for transportation from the hotel to the venue, which we were planning to do anyway. My brother has found some good options for transportation too. MJ's family will probably still get a hotel near the wedding venue, as that makes the most sense for their guests.

Bachelorette party planning has also started! Fun!

Those Who Surround Us

MJ noted that my last post didn't have the same enthusiastic voice my previous ones have had. And I guess that's because I have been pretty down this week. I'm sick again, which is particularly frustrating because I've been eating so healthy and taking vitamins every day. And just as my knee was getting better and I was ready to hit the gym hardcore, I'm out sick again.

And, probably a bigger contributor, I've been saddened by a number of people close to me in the past few weeks. I tend to care too much about people, so it hits me a bit harder than it should. And that's where the last paragraph from my last post originated - I'm realizing these pains will no longer be just mine, but will be MJ's as well. Of course we'll continue to have our own friends, but the people we choose to have in our lives will contribute to a shared environment. We both care greatly for our family and friends and want to continue to cultivate all of these relationships. But, when you're making time for a new marriage, each other's families, and each other's friends in addition to your own family and friends, we'll just have to let go of some things and some people. Which is really sad for me. Like I said, I care too much about people, so seeing them go is not easy. To give you an example, I'm in consulting, so we change projects every few months. It took me years before I didn't get teary-eyed when someone would leave a project. I still get emotional when I, myself leave one, because I just get attached to the people I work with. And these are just co-workers! ;)

On the other hand, some people have really surprised me in a positive way as well. And, again, looking around the room at our engagement party and seeing so many people who have been a part of our relationship and each of our lives celebrating this moment was amazing. It made me realize we will not be in this alone and that we go into this next phase in our lives with good friends and family standing beside us, though they may not be who we always expected to be there. I know it's somewhat cheesy, but it means a lot when we're dealing with the stresses of wedding planning and house-buying on top of the usual daily stresses. Knowing that people are in this with us and are wishing us the best helps to not be overwhelmed. If it felt that way seeing 30 people toasting us, I can't imagine how it will feel seeing 200 people at our wedding!!! Maybe MJ's right - I would regret it one day if we didn't have an actual wedding...

In terms of wedding planning, I've been looking at designs for wedding outfits and for photographers. There is such a wide range for both. They both seem so expensive too. I've seen a few outfits I liked, but mostly think I'd need to try them on to really know how they look. The way they have models sit in these pictures, you can barely see the outfits! The photographers vary so much in style as well. I'm drawn to the more artsy look, but I'm not sure it captures the overall event as well. Also, I suspect less people attending would be captured in these types of photographs, and I would want to remember everyone there. I finally saw a videographer I really liked, but it was insanely expensive for a 30 min film. For those of you who are married, do you ever watch the wedding video? I feel like you can use the pictures to decorate your house or send to family, but what do you do with the video? My family always took a bunch of home videos growing up and we've rarely watched any of them.

As I type this, MJ's at the place we have an offer on with an engineer, getting it inspected! I hope everything comes up clean, especially since it's so old. We're so excited about this place, but trying not to get our hopes up. MJ's been surprised how uninterested I am in the finances of the whole home-buying process. Luckily, he's been doing his research! I hope we get this place. It's supposed to be featured in the New York Times this Sunday, which may throw a wrench in our planning, but would be a cool keepsake if it doesn't!